Admissions Checkup for a College Consultant

I have been preparing for this moment for years: helping my son prepare for the college application process. Yet, while on a family vacation we decided, last minute, to tour Harvard.  I felt nothing but anxiety.

Didn’t I figure out how to get myself into (and through) two Ivy League schools? I worked in college admissions. And for the last 15 years, as a college consultant, my insider knowledge and expertise have helped students gain admission to the competitive schools. I even started Admissionscheckup.com an Internet company that links students to former admissions officers who give them feedback on their applications before those applications are submitted.  For goodness sake, I know these waters!  Somehow the riptide of stress, misgiving and fear surrounding the college application process pulls at me.  I had been trying to ignore it.  At the same time  I refuse to be the cobbler whose son has no shoes.

I start yoga breathing and then acknowledge it.  Fat chance that yoga breathing will quell this emotional roller coaster. I remember how calm, cool and collected I am with my clients, so that’s it! My son is my client. (This is rather amusing. I like the idea of him paying me not only for my winning advice but also for all the cooking, driving and laundry I’ve done over the years… not to mention the lost sleep).

Silently, I begin to review strategies that help students as they round the bend from high school to college. Have I tracked awards, accomplishments and extracurricular activities? Am I touching base early and often with him to provide any academic support before real problems arise? Do I have a freshman plan in place so that he gets a sense of what colleges are looking for, beforehand? Have I conveyed these strategies without tipping into the land of full on “helicopter parenting” – the tendency of parents to hover over their child’s every decision and action ? Check, check, check  and check.

The most effective families I’ve worked with over the years work in partnership with their child to navigate the college applications process. Students are in the driver’s seat, and parents are nearby on the passenger side ready to lend support. For example, students choose and develop their extracurricular interests while parents foster those interests. Those families also allow students to be honest about whether they are ready to “drive” through the application process. Some students may need to consider taking a gap year or time to work before they are ready to go to college.

Those who do take on the commitment of applying to schools are off to a better start by learning about the process early, even several years before they submit applications. Because they are prepared, these students don’t have to pad their resume with extracurricular activities. Let’s be honest: fifty hours of community service packed into the beginning of senior year is rather conspicuous. Prepared students also write their applications well in advance of deadlines to avoid sloppy mistakes and thin, hasty responses. (Yes, the admissions committee can tell when an application was completed the night before).

After going through my professional advice and adjusting my perspective, I’m in a better place to solicit my son’s – I mean my client’s – feedback on Harvard.

“Nah, too urban,” he replies. 

“Okay,” I say in my best non-judgmental parenting voice.

Then the ugly thought occurs to me.  Would Yale’s New Haven be too urban?  My breath becomes erratic, and reason slips away. I’m no longer the level-headed advisor. How could I be? My skin is in the game, which makes me that mom caught in the craziness of college applications. Doing yoga breathing, I grab my phone and make an appointment – with a college admissions consultant! 

 –  Admissionscheckup.com & Winning Applications' founder Stephanie Klein Wassink graduated from Brown University and the University of Pennsylvania’s Wharton School.  A former Northwestern admissions officer, Stephanie has counseled students for 15 years. Winning Applications is based in Wilton, CT.