Barbara Greenberg, PhD is a clinical psychologist and the Adolescent Consultant for Silver Hill Hospital. She is also the Teen Doctor for Psychology Today and co-author of Visit her website at talkingteenage.com.
Prom Season is Here:Some Safety Tips
Barbara Greenberg PhD
High school prom season is here and our kids are furiously looking for dates and dresses. And, the confusion about what is an appropriate dress and what just doesn't cut it is here. While schools, parents, and the prom-goers are negotiating hemlines and the cut of the neckline parents should also talk about what else they should send their kids to prom with.
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Regarding accessories:
Yes, the girls should have a clutch bag for a few essentials and the boys should have a wallet but nope neither of them should contain car keys. Even though the night is supposed to be magical, teen car crashes increase exponentially late at night. And, especially when alcohol is involved. Every teen should have phone numbers where they can reach their parents throughout the evening. Large amounts of money also do not need to be in these purses and wallets. Proms are pre-paid and I'd be concerned about what any money might be intended for.
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Regarding parental expectations:
Your kids should be equipped with parental expectations including:
1. The expectation that you as a parent should be texted or contacted when they switch locations.
2. You are available to pick them up if they feel unsafe and there will be a clear consequence if they do not take you up on your explicit permission to be available for them.
3.They and their friends are responsible for one another. If one child is in trouble then they are responsible as a group to get help and to get it quickly. There is nothing virtuous about covering up for an intoxicated and sick friend.
4. You will be up and waiting for them at the end of the night so they are responsible for the condition they come home in.
5. Any home that they stay in should be treated respectfully and the rules of the house should be respected.
Regarding party toys:
1. Alcohol and drugs are not part of the paraphernalia that you want them to take to the party. A camera would be a more desirable source of memories.
2. Condoms and other forms of birth control are for private moments not for house parties. Music and dancing should be what they are looking forward to.
3. Anything that leads to hangovers, emergency room visits, vomit stains, and other frightening moments should be ruled out. Encourage them to see if they can enjoy themselves within the parameters that you and the school have set. This might be the bigger challenge.
Of course, I am aware that many teens drink at proms. I'm not living in a bubble. Nonetheless, I have heard enough horror stories that I would not want to be woven into the fabric of any family's history. I'm all for socializing, celebrating, getting dressed up, and having fun but not when it involves reckless and poorly thought-out behavior. This is one long night and parents need to stay involved no matter how tempting it is to hit the sack and hope for the best.
Submitted by Barbara Greenberg, PhD. Find more information about Dr. G at TalkingTeenage.com
