Upon seeing the blue star sticker affixed to the back of Carmine de Young's car, many people ask whether her son serves in Afghanistan or Iraq.

"The surprise and shock on their faces when I say it was my daughter who served—it still astounds me," said De Young, a Ridgefield resident and mother of Iraq veteran Lauren De Young Cust.

Many civilians still don't understand that female soldiers in Afghanistan and Iraq serve on the front lines alongside the men, said De Young during a recent interview over coffee at Dimitri's.

Cust stands with the more than 216,000 women who have served in Afghanistan and Iraq. In fact, according to the Army Times, women account for 11.3 percent of the nearly two million U.S. active duty and National Guard troops and reservists deployed to Iraq and Afghanistan since 2001.

And while being deployed as a female soldier has its own particular issues, like the increased possibility of sexual harrassment, a whole other set of challenges face female veterans upon their return. Cust, who completed a 14-month tour of duty in Iraq as a military police officer, knows this well.

Since returning home a year ago, she has worked to adjust to civilian life. Questions and misperceptions, silence and stares often greet her. It is only recently that she started talking about what those 400 days were like.

"Women warriors are expected to step right back into caregiver roles upon their return, though they themselves often need care," said Cust, who now works as a social worker for Bridgeport's Homes for the Brave and Wilton's Female Soldier/Forgotten Hero.

Between 6,000 and 8,000 female veterans are homeless in the United States, and between 300 and 400 of them live in Connecticut, according to the Department of Veterans Affairs. And more than 19,000 female veterans of Iraq or Afghanistan have been diagnosed with mental disorders, according to the VA; more than 8,000 of them were diagnosed with post-traumatic stress. This excludes troops still enlisted and troops who haven't used VA services.

"I truly feel our female soldiers must have the same qualities as the male soldier and marine," De Young said. "They have to be just as courageous, just as bold, and just as strong—and they are. But there are still those who do not acknowledge them in this way, making it harder on the female soldier, whether in combat or at home."

The statistics motivate Cust as she volunteers with for FSFH and Homes for the Brave. The work helps her as much as she helps the veterans, De Young said.

"She is very protective of the female veteran," De Young said.

In turn, De Young has become protective not only of her daughter but also of all the nation's soldiers and marines. During Ridgefield's Memorial Day parade earlier this summer, she walked alongside other Blue Star mothers. In that moment, she was struck by the fact that in some way, Blue Star mothers are linked to all who serve.

"I'm one of the lucky ones. We have our daughter," said De Young. "It never goes away, even when your child returns home safe and sound. Your child is on American ground, on American soil. But those others aren't yet, and those are my children too."

Read the first story about Cust here.